When it comes to creating change, breaking a habit, or working towards a specific goal – we tend to get in our own way.
Let’s use weight loss for an example…
If we sat down in silence and for long enough, and were truly honest with ourselves, we’d work out exactly what we need to do. That’s not to say we’ll like the answer. Example – creating an exercise routine or cooking whole nourished foods.
Because we don’t like the answer – we make things waaaay more complicated than they need to be and come up with 1000 reasons why we can’t do the thing or things we need to do to change and achieve our goals. We do everything but that thing. I.e., dieting, medications or purchasing a gym membership that we’ll never go to. We may also beat and judge ourselves up in the process which affects our overall self-esteem and confidence.
So, how come we keep ourselves stuck?
Firstly, we don’t have a clear WHY. Yes, you may want to lose weight but why? Is it because you want more energy? Vitality? To look good in your clothes? In my experiences with supporting clients, these ‘whys’ don’t often cut it.
Here are what my clients really wanted –
- To ‘show’ their kids how to live a healthy lifestyle so they don’t have to suffer the consequences later in life.
- To achieve and accomplish something for themselves. To say, ‘I did that’ and ‘I am so proud myself for accomplishing that’.
- To be around at their kid’s wedding.
Once you know you your ‘WHY’, you have to then be aware of your ‘BLOCKS’.
Change isn’t so straight forward. Change impacts those around us, change can feel scary…and change can mean loss.
Let me explain…
So, how does creating an exercise routine EFFECT other people?
When you are busy, have certain responsibilities, or have to think about other people, you may not do what is in your best interest. I had a client who wanted to join a social sport after work, though it would mean leaving 10 minutes earlier and potentially disappointing their boss. Essentially the cost of letting someone down (a role model) was worse than the cost of being unwell and overweight.
How is there LOSS by implementing an exercise routine?
When you say yes to something, you say no to something else. I had a client, a full-time parent, who struggled to take time for themselves. If they took time out of their day, they would miss out on spending time with their kids. If they did something at night, they missed that quality time with their spouse. The cost of losing connection with the kids or husband outweighs the cost of being unwell and overweight.
How could it feel uncomfortable and SCARY?
First of all, change is uncomfortable for most people, it doesn’t feel familiar therefore it doesn’t feel safe. The body likes safe. Change also comes with acknowledging and facing our insecurities. These insecurities can feel like judgement from others when really, we hold a lot of judgement towards ourselves. Underlying this, is the fear of failing. A lot of my clients have this subconscious thought of “I rather not try and believe there is a potential for me to succeed then to actually try and not succeed”. The potential pain from feeling like a failure outweighs the pain of actually being overweight and unwell.
Because there is so much resistance or ‘stress’ around our goal, it derails us from wanting to achieve it. It feels more ‘painful’ than where we are at right now (not yet realising where we are is costing us more)
Unless your main emotional and motivational driver is pain, you’re probably not jumping at the idea of changing or creating new habits.
This is where I come in.
With the use of Kinesiology, we pinpoint ALL the false stories we tell ourselves, our pain points, negative associations and our de-motivators that come with change.
Once we identify these subconscious ‘stressors’ which are keeping us stuck, we can change our perspective on them. When you change your perspective, you shift your emotional state.
When you shift your emotional state, you can achieve anything.